Tag Archive | Trauma

I am Not Ready to Forgive Oscar Pistorius

I can recall the first time I truly felt the spark and connection towards the treasure that soon became our heroic ‘blade-runner’; Oscar Pistorius. He ran like a beast. He made the race tracks seem like they were engineered solely for his fulfilment. He was the spectator’s inspiration. Our very own African dream.

Oscar without knowing, made watching the paralympics a proud moment for most if not all South Africans. I and many of my compatriots were very proud of him.

The 14 of February 2013 was a shock that due to twitter became a subject of comedy. I couldn’t believe it. Because Oscar could do no wrong even that murmur of him complaining about his blades, I couldn’t take that serious.

How could a harmless looking fellow be a woman killer? My head is struggling to make sense.

I didn’t know Reeva (I will never know her) or even heard of her before. There were pictures. She was beautiful and there was a sense of calmness visible through her face. Her pictures revealed a well thought-out, humble and loving soul. A woman more worthier than taking her last breath in a toilet cubicle.

The Oscar trial revealed quite disturbing news about our heroic blade-runner; a gun enthusiast, a bully and an anger fuelled man. This was a beast. A beast that out of God knows what, shot and killed a woman that ‘wish-fully’, had dreams to nurture and love him for the rest of his life.

The way I had felt about Oscar Pistorius the double amputee runner took a complete turn when I met Oscar Pistorius the culpable homicide convict. The passion was gone. The inspiration had disappeared and I could no longer look at him with adoration. I had been deceived, betrayed and convoluted. But most critically, I had overworked my imagination trying to make some sense of the situation in my head.

At some point, I thought Oscar would take time out of his then messy schedule and apologise. The same way he took time out to remember his twitter password to write inspirational words. But this time he would apologise to us, the people who never knew Reeva but loved and supported him; the people he unknowingly deceived and traumatised. But I hope he will see the need and clarify to us someday.

In my mind and heart, I can’t forgive Oscar Pistorius because besides the fact that he killed someone who had no means to escape the shots and then oddly screamed like a woman, his side of the story infuriates me more than it should put things into perspective. Secondly, Oscar is proving to be a lousy bugger that sees absolutely no business in ‘veritas’ and makes very little if any attempt at all to acknowledge his flaws.

Even though I pity him at this stage, I cannot picture Oscar running like he can, flying our South African flag high and passionately singing our South African national anthem in a certain paralympic game. My mind won’t allow it. And I’m ready to allow my mind to allow it.

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No Empathy for Culprits

Any nation’s status quo should involve anything but the detriment of its people. Each nation is obliged, regardless of its financial or political state, to encompass constituents which favour the development and growth of its people. However, this is untrue for many nations as abuse, a human deteriorating aspect, is predominant in societies.

Stat Courtesy of the Rape Foundation. First published @rapefoundation1 via Twitter

Stat Courtesy of the Rape Foundation. First published @rapefoundation1 via Twitter

Looking at the exponentially growing rate at which abuse cases, notably rape cases are pressed and withdrawn in South Africa, a country perceived as a pacemaker and a refuge for a number of it’s African counterparts, one’s mind is propelled into fore-seeing a disorientated female brain and a disconsolate future in the fight against women and child abuse.

This year alone, I have witnessed more than three rape cases that were pressed and withdrawn at the drop of a hat without elucidation, leaving my concerned self in an inanimate and convoluted state.

Stat by the Rape Foundation (@rapefoundation1 on Twitter)

Stat by the Rape Foundation (@rapefoundation1 on Twitter)

Rape is an extremely disturbing form of abuse that any human being can ever encounter, it results in enormous psychological disturbances. Rape utterly discombobulates the livelihood of the victim to an extent of severe depression.

I therefore fail dismally in understanding a case of a negotiation or agreement between the victim and the offender of this traumatic, agonising act. I truthfully believe that no amount of settlement can brainwash the mental wounds mounted through this vicious act in the victims mind. Neither is there any form of consensus capable to diminish the physical trauma encountered.

According to me, pressing charges only to withdraw them before the proceeding of the case is a humorless laughter to victims of rape whose offenders walk on unbounded. It is anguish to their tainted souls which cry out for mercy each day.

I wholeheartedly understand that there is no prison with the capabilities to bring back the pieces the offender unknowingly took away, however, justice brings fourth hope of a better future to a victim’s fractured soul. This is the kind of hope which can assist a victim in rebuilding a life that has been villainously wrenched.

Henceforth, being easily amenable is not wise when you want justice to be served. Rape victim I urge you to stand firm in combating further and or the repetition of molestation. Rape offenders belong in a prison cell and it is our civil duty as a nation to certify that no assaulter loiters freely amongst us.