The past is not the definite definition of who I am. Yes, it has formed part of who I choose to be today, BUT I am not bounded nor restricted by the moments it brought into my historical life.
You know, I had only read about such incidents in magazines and never thought of it as a factual circumstance that I could encounter. I went out on a date a few months ago. Everything was seemingly okay, could have been better. Maybe it’s the arrogance that resides in me, but I would assume that on a first date, all conversation endeavors would lead into knowing the person sitting opposite you a little bit better. Well at least that is what I know I would definitely prefer.
Mr I went on a date with was in all aspects not interested in the person opposite him. Other than attempting to know me and finding a way forward for the both of us. Mr here, in front of me was busy asking me about my ex of whom I had halted our effort in a relationship for almost two years. He kept asking about him and why we had broken up. This really irritated me for my ex was the past which was so not vital that I could abandon global news, the least and rather be fumbling about him on a first date with somebody who wanted to take part in something more precious, my future.
Clearly this gentleman was astounded by occurrences of the past. The way he profoundly yakked about his ex-girlfriend, selecting each word from the best adjectives of the Britannica online, this delicate dish of adjectives was served with hand gestured which would from time to time block the face. This was an interesting face, the kind that is given to toddlers; round chubby chicks, small glowing eyes and thin soft looking lips. That is however not so attractive for a grown up male, my opinion. Mr date was not an interesting male, looking at his pregnancy resembling belly would make you lose interest, that deems me an extremely patient lady.
Looking at him was confusing and interesting at the damn same time but listening to him, well that was just another story. He had a soft, low voice with minor soothing and yet squeaky elements; this is the kind of voice sometimes found in women. My date was so soaked in the past life he might as well have been a resurrected ancestor from the many long dead centuries. I mean even during the drive to the restaurant, he jabbered about the past. When we arrived at the restaurant, maybe it provoked and woken historical memories of him and his beloved ex-girlfriend because that is about the only thing I would hear him say in my resurrections from my own future worries that crowded my head.
If you are immensely absorbed in one’s past, you instill in me the idea to believe that you have not made necessary arrangements of moving forward without a share of that person’s part in you. In my not so scientific perspective, what matters the most is the person in front of you and the future ahead of you. What cannot be changed does not deserve the pleasure of putting to ruin what you can have. History is a part from which we require the ability to extract fundamentals and apply the knowledge in the present encounters. We live in the present; we do not have the luxury to dwell in the past – we must never forget such a fact.
We are created with the ability to adapt to change and the capability to move forward with change (we cannot sleep and wake up to yesterday nor travel back in time). Our thoughts possess such privilege, to travel back in time. Our past is carried by the un-resting programs in our heads. Whether we choose to replay these instances over and over is a choice we make. Our present and future lives should not succumb to the past self. We are liable to take notes of lessons and strategies from the past that have the ability to positively shape who and what we want to be. I see no need of reminding people of what they use to be if it won’t be a reciprocal falls off chair kind of joke for everyone.
The past can be a daunting nightmare that creeps up to you even in your midday nap. If it consistently and severely crowds your present, that is a clear indication that you need to deal with it. Take my not so interesting date for instance; he was still emotionally attached to his adjectively acclaimed ex-girlfriend. However, he lacked the strength and courage to face the truth. Whether he was scared or ego tripping, I would never know. Live freely as an individual; if something overwhelms you, act upon it especially if its capability ranges so wide that it possesses the ability to ruin your present. We are not the past, we need to face the past and its truth and find a way to move on effortlessly with our present. We are only one thing, the future!