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Black People of KFC

“we are KFC”

Today, tomorrow, KFC; everyday is a good day to have KFC in a black household.

KFC is to black people what a discount is to Indian people.

The same way whites believe that Woolworths brings the best produced foods. We black people also believe that no chicken comes close to KFC.

“love is KFC”

 Some black people don’t even care what KFC stands for (and I won’t bore you with the expansion either) as long as the chicken tastes great.

The black middle class has KFC for lunch, on pay day.

In food courts, I have seen more KFC on black people’s tables than I’ve seen in any KFC outlet.

“cherish your KFC”

I’ve seen and learnt that KFC rules majority of black people’s households.

How has the black market taken advantage of their love for KFC? They are employed at every KFC and KFC is hardly if ever robbed at all.

If you hear them say ‘kentucky’, they are saying KFC in codes but it doesn’t mean they know what KFC stands for.

How many KFC outlets are black owned? Probably not enough but that’s not important to us as long as our monthly budget can accommodate KFC.

How many black people want to own KFC? (This is our posterity after all) probably not many BUT I can guarantee you that many want to purchase a bucket of KFC on pay day or wellfare payout day.

If you’ve never seen many black people happy at the same time in one place, you’ve never given a lot of black people in one venue KFC.

We black people like KFC so much we have our own imitation KFC version especially set aside and unleashed for delicate occasions like weddings and funerals.

If you’ve never seen black people queueing for hours for food they are paying for willingly, you’ve never been to a KFC outlet month end.

“we die for KFC”

And some black ladies say if he’s never taken you out to/bought you KFC, they have news for you.

KFC is the light at the end of every black person’s month.

“no weapon formed against KFC and black people shall prosper”

Black people can also be full of it some say KFC smells yuck when you’re finally loaded and pay day doesn’t mean much but smells great when your lips and pockets are equally dry as the undrinkable savanna.

After it all has been written and disagreed upon; there is a KFC story inside every black person.

“glory be to KFC”

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Anormal Things People Ask Master Google

Some say Google knows the answers to Chuck Norris’s thoughts before they cross his mind.

Others argue this with ‘facts’ that Google refuses to publish.

Either way, this is for those who swerve to Google every time they are faced with a seemingly impossible question.

I personally Google a whole lot but my Google history remains the biggest yawn in fact its so dull it could bore Chuck Norris to death. But I know you’re the ‘hip’ in hip hop and put cool in ‘daddy cool’.

So tell me if you may, how fascinating is your Google history?

What are the strangest things you’ve asked Google?

And does Google really have ALL the answers?

Well, if you thought almighty Google has all the answers, you might want to sweep off that thought right after reading these not so average questions people grill Google with.

CAUTION! you might be tempted to finding the answers.

So, here goes the 21 berserk things people ask Google:

»»»How drunk can you get on a first ‘club hopping’ date
»»»How painful is it to break your virginity
»»»Do porn stars enjoy their scenes
»»»How did ugly Jay-Z get Beyonce
»»»How to steal a man
»»»Am I in my boyfriend’s future plans
»»»Who was the first person on earth
»»»How many times is one suppose to go to the loo
»»»How are pills made
»»»Is smoking weed a sin
»»»How to twang
»»»Zimbabwe’s got talent
»»»How to prevent cellulite
»»»How to eat junk and not get fat
»»»Whose making me have bad luck
»»»How to stop farting
»»»How to be cool on Twitter
»»»How to look like Beyonce
»»»How to restore your virginity
»»»Is Robert Mugabe immortal
»»»When will I die

Ya ne!
Just when you thought you were weird, someone chooses to raise the bar. But as they say; if you can’t beat them, join them. Swag up your Google history and actually have something really strange to hide other than porn.

SIDE NOTE: do you still think that professor Google has ALL the answers?

Swagga

This is a very popular word or let me just say a reinvented ‘phrase’ that has graced our South African youth’s lingo. The phrase’s roots and origins however, remain a series of convoluting tiny puzzle pieces that even Sir Newton would have neglected. For this reason, the phrase is widely misunderstood.

But what is swagga really? To understand this, we will need to first dissect this frog – swagg.

Swagg is shining dopeness, its cool redefined, exquisite freshness and all things pimpin’ in ya capacity. Catch ma drift?

And swagga is attitude, personality and swagg all stashed up in one fix.

You’re probably aint drippin’ swaggu if you think swagga is another one of ‘a youth gone astray’ type of movements. Swagga is a revolution, because it’s not televised, swagga is unclear.

Anyway such a very simple and sophisticated phenomenon does not need to be confusing.

Swagga is cool, it separates the imitator from the originator; it distinguishes pure genuineness from synthetic. It differentiates the winners from the epic losers. But most importantly, swagga sets apart a G from the wannabes.

But how do you know you’ve got some swagga up your sleeves?

I’ve compiled a list of 25 simplistic fundamentals to knowing whether you’re drippin’ swaggu or just errr plain you.

  • If you’re dating one of your girlfriend’s exes, you have zero swagga and need a hard-core blow across your face just for control.
  • When you leave your home without a pair of manners and a set of dignity, you are most definitely aren’t drippin’ of any swaggu that day.
  • If you’re rude to a waitron, you not only deserve more bad days added unto you but the universe has served you with a cold plate of goose egg swagga.
  • If you don’t know your HIV status, you’re not only freaked out about most inaccuracies but you’ve no swagga up your sleeves.
  • If you’re an African but cannot speak nor understand a single African indigenous language, you only have ignorance and zippo swagga.
  • If you have a big tummy but there is no baby growing inside it, you do not only need to love yourself some more but you also happen to have missed the swagga train.
  • If you think people who went to university are rich or they have it easy in life, you aint swaggerific.
  • If you make it a point to boo Jacob Zuma but did not register to vote, you’re playing a fruitless game and aint drippin’ swaggu.
  • If you think getting a lady’s cellphone number means she’s officially yours, most importantly; you do not have swagga but you also qualify as an idiot.
  • If you treat church as a fashion showcase, you do not only need Jesus but you also have nil swagga.
  • If you’re having unprotected sex but have not planned for a baby, you do not have swagga and you will get STI’s.
  • If you’re married but cannot keep your underwear for your partner only, you do not have swagga.
  • If you’re still asking for cigarette money, you’ve no swagga at all.
  • If you wear cheap cologne, you do not only induce sneezing but you’ve got not a pinch of swagga up your sleeves.
  • When you’re texting and driving it does not only mean you’re small minded but you also have no swagga.
  • If you wear see-through leggings and a crop top, you do not only look like a cheap hood-rat but you absolutely have zero swagga.
  • Teaching your kids swear words before they can even write their names, does not only mean you need a mental institution, but you’ve also got no swagga.
  • If you think when a woman says ‘no’, she means you can ‘carry-on-slowly’, you’re a definite zero swagga.
  • If you still believe that being in the show business doesn’t require much schooling, you will not only end up a broke artiste but you’ve also have no swagga.
  • Being stingy with information or past exam papers does not only mean you aren’t dripping of any swagga but this also reveals your masked idiocy.
  • When you’ve worked your way to the top, you’re not only an inspiration but you’ve got swagga too.
  • If you didn’t buy twitter followers, you most definitely have swagga.
  • If you’ve graduated with Cum Laude, you’ve not only worked hard, but you’re drippin’ of swaggu.
  • If you buy your own nail polish and lip gloss, you’ve got a 110% swagga game.
  • If you know all the words to your national anthem, than you’re unquestionably drippin’ swaggu.

Get your swagga basic game on before you facebook, instagram or tweet lies about drippin’ swaggu.