I am Single Because…

The man who is according to my very long and detailed fantasy list suppose to be cuddling with me at night went down the isle whilst I was busy grieving after being cheated on by a man who was not only all kinds of pathetic but still maintains his highly regarded occupation of being a skillful and discreet serial womaniser.

Another thing is the man who’s meant to be with me is sceptical about the whole of me. He has professionally friend-zoned me by insisting that the five year gap between us makes him too old to have anything intimate to do with me. He keeps referring to an ex of mine everytime things start to get cosy and an inch too magical between us. He asks irrelevant questions like how many guys I’ve gone down with, as if undermining or maybe weighing my womanhood and my ability to receive and give love.

I’m also single because the not so gentle man who wants to be with me is undoubtedly not my type. Type in this particular case implies his very dry and sexually centred sense of humour that gives me cringes and annoyance in equal measure. His dominating demeanour leaves me listening to stories of his success and achievements hundred percent of the time when the only thing I need is to be held and caressed in calming silent. He is undoubtedly not my type because a conversation only makes sense to him if after his acclaimed capabilities to explore the female body (body being an undertone in this instance) ends in nakedness and an orgasm.

In all honesty, I’m single because giving and receiving love has been reduced to dirty talk, nude pics and shagging the living life out of each other’s physicality. In all of this, the heart is sidelined, its attention desired but its whole affection unattended to. Getting a sex partner seems more important than getting to know a person. And here I stand, single because all I really want are little things that grow a person in remarkable ways. Like a pair of ears, that will have interest on the occurrences of my journey and shed light unto my challenges. A mouth and a tongue that will not just be happy to lock with my lips and tongue. But lips and tongue that will create words that will mould not only me but that which we’re trying to build.

So yes I know, I’m single because amongst many other things, I’m asking for far too much from a world of individuals who pride themselves about giving zero fucks and I’m very aware that this can’t be the world I signed up to. I’m unable to adapt and I could very well be slowly dying. Perhaps they are right, I should just get a highly educated psychologist and a good motivational read because times have changed and no one saw it fit to email me the newsletter.


14 thoughts on “I am Single Because…

  1. This blog gives me life, subscribing to this was one of the best decisions i made, right next to doing sexual favours for my math teacher. ow uhmm great post, not that i agree with everything on it, but aaaargh.


    • thank you Thabiso, I’m happy that the blog does some good to you. The beauty of humanity is that we don’t need to agree to one perspective but through diversity, we can appreciate one another. I won’t enquire about the kind of favours you can do for me.
      Much Love.


  2. You are single because you want something real, not just sex. And that’s something to be proud of! I’m in the same boat. There’s nothing wrong with us– the world HAS changed. But you can rebel against it. Those womanizers will get caught, eventually. Karma! If that other man friend-zoned you for a measly five year age gap, take it as a gift! He doesn’t see you or deserve you. You don’t need to answer to anyone about your past– and someone worthy will accept it all regardless. You don’t need to adapt– that’s not who you are, and it’s not me, either. I don’t do sexting and it weeds out the boys from the men a lot faster, let me tell you. The right man will fight for you and earn your trust over time, don’t despair. I’ve been single for awhile and I’ve learned to just accept it and enjoy it. Faith and sobriety are important to me in a relationship, and I won’t compromise those even if it means I never get married. I know I’ll be fine! Hang in there, DevynStella.


  3. I’m glad you don’t think I’m some preachy old lady, and appreciated my advice. It was a hard lesson, let me tell you. But standing on your own is an act of courage that many envy– there are a lot of miserable couples, just because they can’t stand being alone. Or they can’t afford it, or myriad other other reasons that have nothing to do with love or even attraction. Thanks for your comments, that encourages me to keep writing myself. Much love, as well.


  4. Given your solid thoughts about what you want, being single right now is a good thing. Enjoyed this post and as the father of a twenty-five-year-old female who also chooses to be single I applaud your wisdom. Oh yes, thank you for following my blog. Hope to have you visit gain. (I serve margaritas on Friday.)


  5. We can’t choose the world we’re in, but perhaps we can choose to be optimistic in this world of chaos. Some might think it’s pointless, but to survive we really have no choice but to see the brighter side of life. So…enjoy your “Singlehood” ,,, be patient. He’s out there somewhere….


  6. They say there is someone out there for everyone and you just have to find them. I question this now. Thanks for your honesty… it helps others who are hurting as well.


  7. The post is telling the truth about what you want your man to be. I know what you mean and I can tell how do you want to be loved. Man. We have weaknesses and we don’t like to show and accept.

    We leave those we love for those we don’t love and regret later only to find is too late. When he realize it will be too late you will be no single anymore time will come you’ll find the one.

    Interesting topic indeed. Thank you for following my blog.


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