Let’s Gather OUR Families – A Connectedness Approach

This is a sentiment evoked by a television show I recently watched. They were strategising the construction of practical ideas which can reduce hooliganism in townships. Societal issues always trigger my attention for I have so much to yet invest in my people. I am aware of their strength and power as I have more than once off-loaded my heavy heart unto their hands and danced to the sounds of their joy. Wherever I go, I always know, their struggle is my struggle and their tears are my anguish. So it’s natural that when they are infected, I pay more than the required attention, to analytically gather solutions to sufferings.

Hooliganism would briefly be characterised by many as notoriety. The strategies to defeat this ‘notoriety’ were based on approaching and turning hoodlums into economically viable society individuals. I observed that these solutions were limited to sport recreational activities. I also noted that the methodology applied by grown-ups in phenomenon’s which young individuals combat is not well suited for both parties to understand and execute for favourable outcomes. The gap in both parties lifestyle is to take the blame, parents become overwhelmed by fear that in spite of raising their kids well, history might repeats itself and their beloved kids might find themselves in the same or worse complications that THEY battled with. Parents are always trying to protect their kids from the problems they haven’t yet faced. This in turn becomes an extreme vexation for youngsters as they want their own experiences so as to explore who and what they are.

In my perception, hooliganism is more than just – oversized t-shirts, underpants revealing baggy jeans, overly explicit language, engagement in criminal activities and finding pleasure in music with foul language. These are just some of the effects of the real disorder. The core syndrome as I see it is emotional starvation. These people lack love, attention, affection, appreciation and acknowledgment from the people they hold dear to. When somebody’s well-being is emotionally enfeebled, he/she is in battle with the functionality of the world they occupy. Hence the individual is driven into emotional vulnerability and is prone onto informed decisions in proceeds for emotional breakthrough. Hooliganism in turn serves the purpose to overly apprehend this vulnerability and estrangement; it provides a safe-house for the emotionally vulnerable.

Teenagers have a complex way of gathering thoughts and understanding ideas. They operate in a completely different realm to that of their parents. They might grow in a similar environment and experience almost the same situations but their reception and reaction to the encounter will be different to that of their parents. We must understand that we are not coded to react to problems similarly. This encounter has proven to be challenging for parents when it comes to helping their kids deal with problems. They are unable to reach a bridge of flawless communication and understanding. Parents do not always consider that kids have different needs the same way as people. People are different, kids are also people and that makes them different too, therefore, it is out of prudent to treat and raise your kids in a similar fashion, probably one of them needs more attention that the other.

I’ve read a few factual books on serial killers and found a common link between them and hoodlums. Most, if not all serial killers have had a deranged up-bringing; they came from broken families, families that lacked a solid foundation and structure. It is either there was abuse (in all aspects), negligence or otherwise the kid was bullied at school and the parents were so immersed in their own lives to notice. I’ve also found the exact same aspects to carve hooliganism. Usually teenagers will lack a voice at home – no one is willing to listen, care, nurture or make them feel loved, accepted and part of the family. Hence they venture into other activities more togetherness orientated such as hooliganism, where they will feed on their hunger for love, protection but most importantly a voice. They engage in such so as to find the fundamental family connectedness which they lack.

Before the sporting activity ventures to halt hooliganism, I would focus on building the family structure. Families should engage in activities that draw them towards each other, there should be enough hours dedicated to family time so as to increase ties which are meant to connect families. Every member of the family should find comfort, strength, motivation, appreciation and love at home before anywhere else. Everyone’s presence at home should be acknowledged and appreciated. An individual should be comfortable at home to freely express him/herself without fear of judgment and degradation. I believe that if our families are a source of strength, we would not feel the need to seek fulfillment outside the family institution. The number one ingredient in societal problems is family trusses which have dire loop holes. Don’t make home a foul place for your family members, give them love, support, credit where its due, and let them be aware that you’re there for them.

We are human beings and emotions carry us. When we feel that our emotional realm is not satisfied, we engage in acts which the society deems as “attention seeking” whilst it’s just our way of blowing a whistle notifying people that we need emotional support. We live in a world where people are emotionally scared and for that reason we find ourselves in this world of crime, terrorism, drugs and so forth for people are in veagence to heal their wounds and they do this in notoriety (so as to cover the emotional scars of wrath and inferiority) to attract superiority and command.

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